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DEAR ABBY: My husband of 4 1/2 years had an old girlfriend he was on and off with for 15 years. She passed away while he was in prison. We got married three months after he was released. The thing is, when he sleeps, almost every night, he says her name and how much he loves her. He says because he’s doing it in his sleep, he doesn’t know he’s doing it. It seems to upset him that I’m upset. He doesn’t want to hurt me. What can I do to deal with it or get him to stop doing it? -- DREADS THE BED IN COLORADO DEAR DREADS: Your husband was on and off with his late girlfriend much longer than he has been married to you. Old habits die hard. If he wakes you when this happens, don’t hesitate to gently wake him. If he asks why you did it, explain that he was talking in his sleep. (Do not be specific about what.) Then try to remember that she is history, and you are right next to him. ** DEAR ABBY: I’m a senior widow who has been dating an older man for a year now. He’s caring and thoughtful and has many good qualities, but one thing he does is creating difficulty for me. He constantly stares at other women. I’ve talked with him about a “five-second rule,” but he doesn’t hear me. He told me he was raised by his mother and grandmother and that’s why he’s attracted to women in general. He says it doesn’t mean anything.
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DEAR ABBY: I have a 54-year-old profoundly disabled, non-verbal child who is in a group home. I have been advocating for her since birth, when we learned she had suffered severe brain damage. The umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck for so long that the damage was irreparable. My first husband couldn’t handle it and left us.
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DEAR ABBY: I’m getting married soon and I am very excited. It is a true blessing. I love my fiancee very much, and I’m happy to spend the rest of my life with her. I have one concern, though, and it is about her daughters. They are great girls. Both are teenagers. I have told them I will be whatever they want me to be, trying not to force any kind of relationship on them that they are not ready to have. My problem is, I am their teacher at the high school.
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Today’s news reveal all the upheaval in war-torn countries with poverty and hunger, spread of diseases and destruction of homes and cities. Then people in our free country stay on negative terms about living here. The SNAP program allows low-income families to have necessities, the elderly have nursing homes for care (I don’t even know if any other country have these), job opportunities are here (but too many people aren’t willing to work), and so on… And then there are those who aren’t willing to get help with changing their attitudes and appreciating what we have. The oldest book is still read today that helps people see the silver lining in the cloud, hope, encouragement, and inspiration to better face whatever comes their way.
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Last time, we began to unpack Friedrich Nietzsche’s “God is dead” philosophy by looking at his assertion that there is no objective (absolute) truth or moral values, and that could only happen with the death of God and the abandonment of Christian values. But there is more to the story than that. Nietzsche believed that Christianity, at its base, was a religion of and for the masses—the common folk masses, that is. Society, he argued, is made up of two classes: masters and slaves. Much to his frustration, Christianity was the religion for the slaves of society and was structured for their benefit, even to the pain of the master class. Nietzschean scholar Alistar Kee explains, “Nietzsche characterizes Christianity as the religion of a decadent chosen people, chosen by a decadent God.” Since the Western world philosophically runs on a Christian presupposition, Christianity reflects and promotes the values of those “chosen people” in opposition to the master class. Understanding that Nietzsche saw himself, of course, as a leading member of the master class sets the tempo and tone of his philosophical system, designed to replace the God of Christianity and secure rule for his master class of society. Since Nietzsche accuses Christianity of having brought about an impoverished life by preventing mankind from rising above their animal ancestors, the entire system must be destroyed, starting with the death of God. In Nietzsche’s mind, this will bring about a reevaluation of all moral values, beginning with the assertion that absolute truth is an illusion. Even so, Nietzsche’s philosophy of life is not a simple criticism of Christianity but is the exact opposite of it. What Christianity says is true must be false; what Christianity embraces must be destroyed. Nietzsche said, “Christianity has taken the side of everything weak, base, ill-constituted; it has made an ideal out of opposition to the preservative instincts of strong life.”
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DEAR ABBY: I often see ads about stopping smoking. I’d like to share my story of success in overcoming this filthy habit in the hope that it may help someone else.
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DEAR ABBY: My brother has ALS and lives in another state. He has a wife and children. His wife has decided that when family visits from out of state, they need to stay in a hotel instead of their house because she does not have the capacity to host.
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